Oh Canada Oh canada..

Oggi a lavoro abbiamo ospitato la scolaresca canadese (in realtà erano universitari)... La saudade m'ha preso.. E la domanda sorge spontanea: meglio essere italiani? o italo-qualcosa?
Ultimamente direi più la seconda... Comunque ecco un prontuario del perfetto italo-americano (canadese anche suppongo..). In grassetto le voci in cui mi riconosco o in cui riconosco buona parte degli italiani.. nel bene e nel male...

You Know You're Italian When...
1.You have a nonna.
2.You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.
3.You know what a rice ball really tastes like.
4.Your car has a green red and a white bow with a horn attached on the mirror!
5.You know the words to Dominick the Donkey!
6.On Christmas Eve you eat only fish.
7.Your favorite slow song: Ti Amo "Fuhggettaboutit".
8.The Godfather is your role model.
9.You love Nutella...anytime...
10.Your nonna's meat balls are the best.
11.You always dress to impress.
12.You always gotta have a clean pair of Fila's.
13.You love Versace, Gucci, Prada, Armani, just cause there Italian.
14.Favorite movies: Godfather, Good Fellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don... and you live by them.
15.Guys gotta respect their women...or else...
16.You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by either your mother or your nonna.
17.Pasta, pasta, pasta everyday.
18.Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.
19.You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.
20.Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
21.You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.
22.Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law
23.You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.
24.At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
25.All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
26.A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among our aunts.
27.You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
28.If someone in your family grows beyond 5'11", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
29.There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
30.You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
31.At some point in your life, you were a D.J.
32. 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.
33.You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.
34.Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.
35.You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.
36.You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School
.37.Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.
38.It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
39.Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."
40.You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary...
41.You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement).
42.Your grandfather had a fig tree.
43.You've always wanted a red Ferrari.
44.Connie Francis songs makes you cry.
45.At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone.
46.You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture.
47.You know all the words to "That's Amore".
48.You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don't eat half of it.
49.You ask "How much for cash?" when buying but will accept 'gifts' in exchange for cash when selling.
50.You are not materialistic but insist a $500 wedding present is nothing.
51.You think have a concrete backyard is nice.
52.You think having swans in a big fountain in the front yard next to the veggie patch is tasteful.
53.You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonboniere at your wedding.
54.You always have a friend who 'owes you a favor'.
55.you have enough food in the cantina to last 5 years or more!
56.Your dad or nono uses you’re old hockey sticks in the garden to hold the tomatoes plants.
57.At 6:30 all the older Italians are not found outside due to there favorite TV show if you know what I mean!Newly added!
58a.You’re nonna or mom has a sofa with a plastic on it that has only been used once or twice.
58b. you’re nonna or mom has a kitchen and living room that has only been use once and is kept like a museum, if you have a duplex you know what I am talking about!
59. You at least have one member in your family like an uncle who is a plumber or electrician.
60. You wake up to CFMB Radio thanx to your nonna blasting it when you sleep over at her place! http://www.cfmb.ca/default.asp?Key=1
61. You know your Italian from Montreal North when you walk around with your hand on your midsection & the first three words of every sentence is "Me me I ......"
62. You know ur italian if u know the punchlines to poonjabi power hour and judge rocco by heart and even maybe most of the joe avatti jokes.
63. You know ur italian if at least 1 relative had the godfather playing as an entrance song at a wedding.
64. u know ur an Italian when ...........u danced to marina marina marina…
65. You know your Italian when you have more than one aunt named Maria.
66. You no ur italian when in one point of ur life indoor soccer shoes and longhair and i braa srapp was a nessecity
67. You know your italian went your nonna smacks u behind the head when you raise your voice at the table and your mother feels the need to do the same..
68. You know you are italian when you don't have to date people, you charm them! :)
69. You know your italian when your nonna is your personal seimstress and when she needs ot know how short to cut your pants she MUST lift the pants over your bellybutton and cut them 3inches too short.
70. You know you're Italian when your shoes cost more than your rent.
71. You know you're Italian when red sauce is an all day affair at your house.